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Dealing With Taking Care of an Ailing Parent
I have had to take care of 2 parents for the last 20 yrs. First my Dad who had a rare disease called Amyloidosis, which attacks all of your vital organs. It was hard for me to deal with since it's fatal and it was hard seeing my Dad in that state. He always loved life and was one of these who thought he would never die. He fought a his battle to the very end with a very positive attitude. He died in Nov. of 1994. He had a very positive influence on me and showed me how you should live your life to the fullest. He worked his entire life and to the end. Then, shortly after his death, my mother became ill. She had been having problems, I started taking her to all kinds of doctors trying to find out a diagnosis. We were in dispare, my Mother was ready to die. She didn't want to be a burden or live with a devastating disease. Finally, I had enough, and told her doctor to please send us in a neurologist since she wasn't able to move well. Most doctors don't want to deal with you, they send you to a psychitrist cause they think you have a mental illness or something. But he listened and sent in a new neurologist since no one else seemed to diagnose her. The one he sent in knew right away after examining her that she had Parkinson's. We were stunned but relieved that it wasn't a fatal illness that it was treatable but not curable. Through the years, it has been some hard times dealing with all of the stages. You go through a slow decline of movement. She now has to have a walker or a wheelchair to get around in. My Mother has gotten where she needs someone 24 hrs a day. It's hard to slowly lose your dependence, she has always loved doing for herself,like driving herself wherever she needed to go, now having to depend on me. She was getting so that she was afraid of staying by herself at night, so my family and I moved in with her a couple of years ago since she didn't want to be alone. I thought I could do it all alone. If you don't have any siblings living close this can be hard. It was starting to cause some health problems for me, we tried this sitter service for the elderly. They sent this nice lady to come stay with her for a couple of nights when we had to go out of town to my husband's brother's funeral. My Mother loved her. Well,a few months later, I had to have surgery which I would need several weeks of recovery. So we called this lady back to come stay and help us. I found it to be a great help to me and a great relief for me to have someone when I need rest. I encourage anyone who is taking care of a parent and don't have any assistance, to get a sitter to come help out. I felt guilty for awhile, but knew in order to keep myself from getting sick, that I can't do all of it myself, sometimes you need more help to make it. My Mother wants to stay home, she doesn't want to live in a senior living facility. So we found that this is a good alternative. Make sure you are dealing with a reputable company before you get someone, since you are putting a lot of responsiblity on someone for the parent you love. I hope I will have my Mother around for a long time. We need to get congress to do more for Parkinson's and other dehibitating diseases. Parkinson's and other neurological diseases need more funding. And insurance companies need to do more for these people. |
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